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Einstein’s Size Zero!

July 11, 2010

Who is an ideal woman?

Whoa! Whoa! hold your horses (kuthiraingala kattupaduthunga)…I do not want you to describe how gentle she should be, what an awesome mother she should become, how much brains she should have, what kind of commitment and dedication she should possess or how she should be in bed! Let us keep this at an “eyes-only” level and keep the other esoteric things out of the discussion.

I call the other things esoteric mainly because of the fact that women, according to me are magical. Only a select group of people can understand them and I do not belong to that exclusive clique. I said let us not get into these things didn’t I? Sorry folks, can’t help it…I wanted to pour out my peelings. The mysteries of women-kind elude me and things that are beyond our grasp, distract us the most.

So yes, where was I? Eyes only.

This means who is an ideal woman based on looks. Beauty. But here again, one has to take a moment to curse Albert Einstein and his wretched concept of relativity, which applies to everything in this universe, thus making beauty again relative. While we are cursing Albert, we should also praise him a bit. Why? Simple my friend…if one has enough sense to understand the beauty of relativity(even though beauty is a relative concept!) , one will learn to respect other people’s opinions.

Relativity! 😛

I talk a lot don’t I? I mean, where am I going with all this? How is this even related to size zero?

Good Question. By elucidating relativity I hope I have made the reader understand that beauty is not a world-wide uniform criteria. Then what next figure? (ah finally we approach something that relates to the title).

Figure! It is also slang for babe in Tamil Nadu. 36-24-36, the magical numbers that make the boys go gaga over the ladies (gaga over the ladies! I am brillian aren’t I? if you still didn’t get it, its Lady Gaga! sigh!). But again figure is a relative concept. Down here in the south, where I hail from, men have always been enamored by rotund women. Not fat mind you. Calling our women fat offends us and we are an extremely touchy people. Call our women fat and you’d wish you were never born.


If one takes a moment to go through the heroines who have made it big in Tamil cinema, one would agree with me. From Padmini, savithri to Banupriya, Kushboo and recently Jothika and Anushka, our women have had curves. They were babelicious.


So finally, the message to the society? Of course…otherwise what is the point of writing something.

All girls who are dieting trying to achieve the elusive size zero, we don’t care. In fact it is not healthy even. It makes you look sick. Be well fed and watered women, bells will ring when we see you. And yeah, do not go about demanding 6-packs!

sick and ugly!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Lalitha Thiagarajah permalink
    March 15, 2011 9:00 am

    aah…now i know why the tamil heroins are “rotund”
    oh well, after all…beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder.
    brilliant post by the way. especially on the politics. easy way for me to learn the complex politics of india (which i have tried and failed miserably)
    keep writing!


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