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Of Governors, Grievances and Conveniences!

July 13, 2010

Let me tell you a story!

I know what you are thinking.

This buffoon already talks a lot and now he is offering to tell a story? Lord have mercy on our souls.

True. The lord should have mercy on your souls. Especially because of the story I am going to tell highlighting the high-tension drama happening in this nation.

Once upon a time (convention dictates that I begin all stories like this!), not so long ago, there was (still is) a man called N D Tiwari. He had held various positions of utmost importance in his long and glorious career spanning more than 50 years. Tiwari’s latest (and sadly ultimate) position was that of Governor, Andhra Pradesh, a state that was literally about to be torn in two.

NDT

Tiwari’s sense of dedication and devotion towards his work has always amazed everybody. For instance, when he was the governor of Andhra, the Telengana issue was in the initial stages.

“What can I do to prevent the fomentation?”, contemplated Tiwari one night.

The interesting part of it, as sources close to him describe it, was that he was getting drunk and watching Baywatch’s Pamela Anderson expressing her opinions on movable and immovable assets. It was then that a light bulb glowed over that bulbous head of his and “Eureka”, he exclaimed.

“You Rekha?”, he asked her while acting. If one observes the video closely, the lip-sync could be seen. But alas! The nation completely failed to see his heart’s purity and began dissing him. What Tiwari expected though, was achieved. He delayed the Telengana issue by almost 2 months by hogging the spotlight for himself.

You Rekha!?

“I mean, an 85 year old man getting an erection was something the people had to see and understand”, he was later found confiding to his personal aide, trying to explain his noble deeds. What he didn’t expect was also achieved. He did not expect to be sacked. He tried protesting to the higher ups about his true intentions, which sadly didn’t work and later he resorted to the age-old technique of language bias.

“It might have worked in my grandfather’s time and one had to try anyways”, Tiwari was found cribbing later, nursing a glass of Scotch.

So apart from trying to bring into light Tiwari’s holy intentions, what else am I getting at? Where is this story going? Read on..

In the neighboring state Karnataka, 2 days back some illegal mining issues have sprouted wings and have taken flight. The opposition of Congress and JDU are so against the issue that they are spending whole nights in the assembly away from kith and kin, trying to find a solution to this problem.

Highly placed sources believe that Tiwari, the nation’s Playboy (ah! the irony), is behind it all.

One of the MLAs involved in the scandal tried to contact Tiwari to ask for a solution and he had coolly quoted “Women are the root and solution to all evil”.  And since he was after all an Indian MLA, he quickly grasped Tiwari’s point and he too had an affair, taped it, and was about to air it, focusing all attention on himself and diverting the attention of the masses when his wife found out.

She spread the news among her clique, which included all the wives of the other MLAs and now they are all under suspicion at home. When 2 days back one wife went as far as threatening the husband with poisoning his food, he had no other option but to find a solution.

"Hell"mets Save us from our wives!

And thus the ingenious plan of spending the nights in the assembly as long as the Centre orders a CBI probe, which, knowing the speed of events in this great nation, could take weeks. “Let us hope they cool down before that”, one MLA was heard saying, about the wives.

Peace! Let's Sleep...

And why is the Karnataka governor so concerned? He has a wife too doesn’t he?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 14, 2010 4:52 pm

    good one 😉 Keep rocking!!
    Read this Rakhi sawant’s interview about her views on the anti-rape female condoms:
    http://hellisnext.blogspot.com/2010/07/anti-rape-condom.html

  2. January 28, 2013 11:32 pm

    The disabled say yes to active livingBangalore: Nothing is more stronger than the human spirit. Bangalore saw this come true when an overwhelming crowd of 10,000 people turned up at the Kanteerava stadium to participate in a walkathon.The crowd comprised disabled children, who showed they are as much active as anybody else.Samarthanam Trust for the Disabled organized the walkathon in the backdrop of World Disability Day, observed on December 3. The trust has been hosting this for the past five years.The group walked through Cubbon Park and Hudson Circle before returning to the stadium. Later, cultural programmes were organized. G Jayaram, director of the department of welfare of the disabled and senior citizens, released the souvenir of Samarthanam Trust. “I congratulate the trust for helping the disabled,” Jayaram said. Schools, colleges, corporates and organizations working for the disabled also participated. In the evening, rock band Pushing Tin and fusion music band Swaralayamurtha entertained the lively crowd. Children of Samarthanam Trust also gave a dance performance.Perumal, principal secretary of Silk Board; B J Satyanarayana Swamy, freedom fighter; Shivram, Kannada actor, and Arundhati Chakraborty, vice president of Target International India Corporation, were present.

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